I'll be honest with you folks. I've hated my life as long as i have lived it. Even when it was something like good, the presence of a big, black hole had eclipsed the temporary fits of happiness. For that is all they have ever been...fits. Let me enlighten you as to the primary trait that my upbringing has tried to give me. Fear. Always be afraid. Afraid of people, what they can do to you, the vast world filled with these same beings, all of which operate at some advantage that i will never have. Be afraid of not being enough, for you will never be. Be afraid of places, typically large open ones. Fear the supernatural if you really can't find anything. Also i must let this fear inhibit and crush whatever talent there is in me just so i never have to see myself lose it. All defense mechanisms for something that should never have harmed me. But then again i am not what is in my nature, am i? I sure hope not.
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