Past lifetimes of thought.

Today i remembered something that i thought was lost to me forever. I had rejoiced previously in being able to get past it only to realize that it was a big part of me and had been for years. Even in its complete and utter exclusion from my life and my thoughts, i had often dreamt disturbing dreams of what i had it seemed so easily left behind. Is it possible to love something you neither had nor lost, how about something you had never known? Without a trace of  tragedy i can't hope to understand it. What is this i wonder, having existed in it in the past for indefinite periods of time i would imagine i have all the answers but i don't. But i am not lost you see. I'm just a silent observer of a mind that works on its own and which i have no hope of manipulating. I was right about myself, i don't have a heart...not really. At the moment i find myself incapable of explaining why exactly,but someday i will. Someday i'll have all the answers.